In my experience, 90% of girls are not excited when puberty starts. And it’s not just their impending period that’s on their mind. Most girls are happy with the body they have and see no reason for it to change. This uncertainty happens because the physical changes of puberty precede the psychological ones. When I discuss this with girls at their 10- or 11-year-old checkups, my goal is twofold. First, I want them to know that they are not alone in their feelings about puberty. Second, I want parents to know that girls may be reluctant to talk about puberty even though moms want to provide them with the benefit of their experience. However, I encourage moms to always keep their “radar on.” If a girl brings up pubertal issues, moms should drop what they’re doing and be open for a discussion.
I also share a story about what happened in my own home when my daughter, now 21, turned eleven. My wife and I bought Molly a copy of the American Girl book, The Care and Keeping Of You, which is a terrific book for girls entering this stage of their lives. Molly looked at the book and literally threw it across the room. We told her that was okay, but added that her mom would be available to discuss anything in the book if Molly wanted to. Over the next six months, we found her occasionally reading the book at night before bed.
My final comment on this subject at checkups is to remind girls that puberty takes years to finish, and I guarantee that they will be happy with their grownup bodies once the process is over.
